Wednesday, February 1, 2012

The Drunk-Tired Interview

Today I will take a moment to answer some commonly asked questions about myself and this blog whilst trying to keep my eyes from gluing together for eternity. For the record, I am not actually drunk. Just tired.

Les do this.

1. What's your real name?
Nobody. Kind of like that bloke who stabbed the Cyclops in the eye. Just kidding, I don't have a name. Just kidding, I do.

2. How old are you?
Seventeen and 11/12.

3. How'd you come to chose the name goldfish?
Well one time I was talking to some friends online, and for some reason or another I was insanely hyper. While talking to them I was eating an obscene amount of goldfish crackers, and I went a little apeshit on the keyboard. I don't remember much of what happened during that conversation, but after that they started calling me gfish, and I liked it.

4. How's the love life?
NONE YO BUSINESS. I'm single taken single once more. ;D

5. Favorite animal?
Giraffes. They're flipping awesome. And they look rideable. Hopefully one day when I get a giraffe (or steal one from a zoo) I'll be able to ride it around and save money on gas. Somebody's got to save this planet.

6. What do you actually look like?
A cross breed between a mouse, Link (from Legend of Zelda), and Athena.

7. How do you draw your cartoons?
I use a program called Gimp. It's pretty much exactly like MS Paint, but with a few more tools. Just me dragging my mouse around the screen trying not to make everything look hideous.

8. Describe your dream date.
I would be picked up on a pegasus-unicorn cross breed. We'd ride to Mount Olympus where we'd feast on ambrosia and nectar. Then we'd hitch a ride with Apollo in his sun chariot. He'd drop us off at Disney World, where we'd proceed to ride ALL the rides. After that we'd rent a romantic comedy, teleport back to my house, and watch it while playing intense board games that involve world domination. I'd beat him mercilessly and then we'd make sundaes and burn the cherries as sacrifices to the Lord Poseidon so he'd give us a good year with the tides. Are my expectations high? Yes. Am I going to lower them any time soon? No.

9. Favorite quote?
"At the height of laughter, the universe is flung into a kaleidoscope of new possibilities."

10. Who asked these questions?
My friends.

11. Who really asked these questions?
...I told you. MY FRIENDS.

12. ...I'm not going to ask you again, Gfish. WHO ASKED THESE QUESTIONS?


are you...?



If you have any actual questions, feel free to ask. I'll just add them to the bottom of this post.

More Questions!
1. What is your favorite fruit?
Oh goodness this is difficult. So many fruits. SO MANY. The ideal fruit would be a combination of raspberry, strawberry, watermelon, grapefruit, and apple, but I think I've used up my hybrid-creating points. So... I'd have to say raspberries (and blackberries). So delicious.

2. Favorite board games?
RISK. There's nothing more fun than world domination. Then again, you have to play with the right people. Namely, those you can beat easily. I also love Monopoly.

3. If you could travel fifty years into the future and had thirty seconds to make a Google search & select a result, what would you search for?
Good question. If I felt like being practical and helpful and wanted to be known as the savior of society, I'd look up major disasters in the past fifty years. Then I'd be able to tell everyone where not to be and either be deemed a complete nut-job (until the first "prediction" came true) or a prophet who must be worshipped with offerings of free candy and back rubs. If I felt like being selfish, I'd look up the most profitable businesses of the past fifty years and then go back and put everything I own in the stock market. Either way, I think life would be pretty nice from then on out.

4. What was the weirdest dream you've ever had?
Usually I only remember short snippets of my dreams, but there is one that I specifically remember because I remembered more of it than usual. I believed I dream this dream about seven or so years ago. Basically it started out with me driving my sister someplace in the minivan. This was way before I actually started driving, so I was quite excited to be driving. Unfortunately, I soon lost control of the wheel and we began to float off the road. Eventually we both jumped out and landed in a hovercraft circle thing with my cousin. He had a laser gun, and started shooting Disney characters with it, just like in the Buzz ride in Disney World. Although he shot at them at rapid speeds, they kept jumping off of these random shells and trying to climb on to the hover car. My sister disappeared somewhere, so I was left to beat them off with a wooden stick (which magically appeared in my hands). Then we landed, the Disney toy character things stopped chasing us, and I jumped in a swimming pool. It took me through a vortex to my school, where I hung around until I woke up.

5. What is your greatest achievement in life?
Well I'm writing a book, and it's around 50k words so far. I'm pretty proud of myself for that... but I don't know. My life's pretty dull.

6. What is the creepiest or funniest thing you've seen?
My friend and I were getting something from the supermarket this one time, and as we walked by this normal looking, middle-aged woman, she looked to the ground and whispered to us in a really sketchy voice, "Cheeseburgers." It was some creepy shit.

7. Favorite Zelda Game?
I've only ever actually played one Zelda game, and that was the one for Nintendo 64. I believe it was Ocarina of Time. People have just randomly said that I look like Link, though. I think it's the ears.

Jizzinmypants (aka Liz)
8. What would be the title of your autobiography?
Interior Decorating With Fish

9. Favorite celebrity crush?
ZACHARY QUINTO. But if I couldn't have him, then I'd settle for neil Patrick Harris or Chris Hemsworth. (My secret older, older man celebrity crush would be Brian Williams... but I don't think that'd ever happen.)

10. Favorite person who lives in california?


  1. Yay, another GIMPee! :D *high fives*

    Your dream date is awesome, especially the parts with board games and sundaes! I also liked your use of the word "kaleidoscope."

    Ooooh, pick me, pick me!!! I have questions!
    1. What is your favourite fruit?
    2. Favourite board games?

    1. Haha, i don't even know what half the stuff on Gimp does. When of these days I'll figure it out...

      You thought the board games and sundaes sounded more exciting than riding in Apollo's chariot and Disney world??

      And yay, questions!!

  2. Wow Your expectations on a dream date seem kind of high. But it sounds like a lot of fun. :). Here is a question ... I will ask you in person.

  3. Heard this one today: If you could travel fifty years into the future and had thirty seconds to make a Google search & select a result, what would you search for?

    1. That's a really good question... so many choices!

  4. You keep your standards high. Ha ha ha. Hmm. My question to you: What's the weirdest dream you've ever had?

    1. Are you sure you're prepared to read the answer to this...? xD

  5. Hmm... Ah!
    1)What is your greatest achievement in life?
    2)What is the creepiest or funniest thing that you've seen?
    3)You mentioned Link, so, favorite LoZ game?

    1. These are some solid questions. /types up answers

    2. I never would have pegge you as one with a dull life. 50k word book, Elf/Hylian ears, dressing as Santa, being creepily whispered to by a middle aged woman, a "baby" with rare genetic disorder, and all the other things you've shared on here, lol!

    3. Hahaha, well I guess in comparison to the fantastically interesting people I constantly stalk... my life seems boring.

      Also, life seen from my head is always about twenty times more amusing then what actually happens. This entire blog is just an illusion. Shhhhh. ;D

  6. What would be the title of your autobiography?
    Favorite celebrity crush?
    Favorite person who lives in California?

    1. I think we all know the answer to that last question. ;D

  7. dude. I LOVE YOU. you're so funny. :O