Step 1: Apply adhesive to body and face. Lay on bed. Stay.
Step 2: Do not change clothing. Ever.
Step 3: When your body requires the release of fluid and the intake of sustenance, remain hunched and squinty-eyed as you venture from your room.
Step 4: Keep all electrical necessities (aka computer, ipod, phone, etc.) plugged in and near said bed.
Step 5: Never open the curtains. Just don't. Sunlight is toxic and unfriendly and gross.
Step 6: Avoid talking to friends, acquaintances, and family members if possible. They will only remind you that ambitions exist and that you do not have them.