Hello there! I'm Gfish's friend Taylor and I am here to make a guest post! So I decided it would be a good idea to talk about my stupid conspiracy theory.
Everybody needs at least one conspiracy theory to halfheartedly believe in. So one day, I invented one. Nic Cage is not a real person. He's actually a mass hallucination. True story.
Nic Cage started out as a social psychology experiment. They announced that he had a role in a movie, and since everyone expected to see him in that role, they did. Pleased with their success, the movie industry realized that they now had an imaginary actor to use. In the beginning, fewer people knew about Nic Cage, so he was actually a pretty decent actor.
But then, more and more people began to watch movies with Nic Cage in them. The hallucination got all distorted and from then on, Nic Cage has steadily become a worse and worse actor. Also, my theory totally explains why he's never turned down a movie role.
Think about it.