Have You Ever Wanted to Punch a Baby?

Cruelty and abuse toward little children is wrong. I get that.

But you know what else is wrong?

Sitting on an airplane. Feeling hot and then cold and then hot and then cold. Being coughed on. Losing your shoes. Watching twelve hours of your life waste away into the clouds. Listening to little children cry and scream. Not being able to do anything about it but sit there and pout while your ipod speakers kill your ears so you can hear a faint buzzing noise over the roar of engine and baby.

I hate airplanes. I like children. Unfortunately the two don't seem to cancel out when put together, because for some reason kids can't seem to shut up on a plane. 

I'll be honest with you. This past Sunday as I flew back from visiting family in Israel, I wasn't in the best of places. My eating and sleeping schedules were scrambled and I couldn't get comfortable no matter where I sprawled out my limbs. I had already watched all of the not suckish movies and had even finished one episode of My Cat From Hell, and sleep would not relieve me from boredom. It was all because of the damn babies. 

After a while I began to have... disturbing thoughts. What would happen if I just... opened that door and threw this kid out? Sure the door looks big, but the instructions on how to open it are written so an idiot could open it. I could do it easily. There were a few flight attendants standing a few feet away... but would they really have time to stop me? Would they really want to stop me if it meant the baby would stop it's damn crying?

What if I just punched it. Not to kill... just to silence. If the mother didn't care enough about the other passengers to do something about her baby, then I sure as hell didn't care enough about her to do something about my tendencies to resort to violence.

It wasn't only the infant(s) I had problems with (I have no idea how many babies there actually were. All I know is that they cried, and it seemed to come at me from everywhere at once). The kids in the row behind and next to me were equally as annoying. Whenever their movie or show ended, they would turn to the aisle and start screaming. MMMMOOOOOOOOOMMMMIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE. MMMMOOOOOMMMIIIIIEEEEEE. For a solid ten minutes until their mom strolled by and put something else on for them. This happened when they were hungry, thirsty, bored, or simply had to pee.

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Glad to be back.