SO HAPPY.

Guys. I feel like this right now:

And a little bit like this:

And you know why?

...

BECAUSE I FINISHED THIS:

AND NOW IT LOOKS LIKE THIS:

If I added up all of my major essays, I'd say there were a little over twenty. AND NOW THEY ARE NO MORE.

Needless to say, I am relieved. Now I can focus on watching more movies and doing more arts and crafts.

I actually learned a lot about myself through applying to colleges. Well... actually that's not true. I learned a lot about what I wish I were like. You really have to show these colleges your good side... and writing about my "good" side really made me wish all my sides were like my good side.

How I Made Myself Seem To Colleges:

Reality:

Pretty much to all the colleges I applied to, this is what I look like on a day to day basis:

It's a solid look for me, don't you think? 

Applying to College

Sigh.

It's come to the time when I have nothing on my plate other than a steamy helping of college applications with a savory side of school work. Yum.

In case you haven't gone through this process yet, it's pretty damn annoying. Mostly it's a lot of decision making that could potentially decide my future, and oodles of trying to make myself sound good without sounding like a completely obnoxious idiot with a big ego. GAH. Truthfully I'm sick of writing essays about myself.

I know, it's a bit odd to be complaining about writing about myself when I keep a blog... which is pretty much nothing but writing about myself... but this is different. These essays have to be better. They have to be everything that I am but more. They have to stand out among thousands of others while still seeming modest. THEY HAVE TO BE MADE OF MAGICAL FAIRY DUST AND SPRINKLES AND UNICORN FUR AND KEEBLER ELVES. I just don't have the patience for hunting down Keebler elves. I really don't.

I wish I could write something beautiful. Something that will make whoever is reading it just stop, and go... wow. I want them to share it with everyone around them, and then call me up and be like, WE ACCEPT YOU FOR YOUR AWESOMENESS COME JOIN US NOW WITHOUT WORRYING ABOUT GETTING IN ANYWHERE EVER.

That would be ideal.

Unfortunately, whenever I try and think of something to write about, I get flooded with indecision and self-doubt about two seconds into writing it. Then I completely toss the idea and retreat into my corner of unhappiness and internet. Sometimes I think of something awesome, but then I realize I wouldn't actually want anybody to read it except for the admissions person. Of course my mom would want to read it first... and my teacher... and I really just don't feel comfortable with it if it's too personal. It's a balance I just can't seem to create.

Well, I'm off to go work some more. Thank you, blog, for helping me procrastinate.